Materialisms I
I look at you, and I sigh.
I know you are The One.
But there’s no way to escape this talk. I need to do this.
“Love”, I tell you, sounding almost like a lament, “you have to understand. I love you so much… but I just can’t give you what you need anymore.”
You keep looking through me, like I wasn’t even there. Still apparently emotionless.
“I can’t support you anymore, love. The stuff you need just costs too much money. Whenever a bill comes in from the stuff I buy you, it’s almost a rent! I just can’t…”
Your eyelids close in slow motion, as your chin drops just as slowly, leaving you with eyes closed and open mouth. I try not to think about how much I owe. But I fail, and tears start falling from my eyes.
I know our relationship can’t last, I know I don’t have the means to support you anymore. But it hurts so much. And I just don’t have the heart to say anything else.
You look like you’re losing your balance for a second, and before I can even move, you fall on your face. I jump in your direction, too late to catch you. I take your inanimate shape, and I hug you as tightly as I can. You don’t react. You can’t anymore.
I just can’t stand seeing you like this.
So I make a decision. My hand goes down your back, until I find a sort of groove where you never let me touch you. I put my hand in it, and I pull out a bit of plastic and metal, that smells like it burned a while ago. I throw it away.
“Ok. Fine”, I say, trying to sound all decisive between tears, “just this once. Just this one more time, I’ll buy you another EPROM chipboard. But it’ll have to be a second hand one, I’m telling you right now!”
